2005-08-07 - 3:04 p.m.
Last entry today. We are caught up to date.
I guess I should say a few things about the whole kidney donation thing.
Of course, most of my friends say they have no idea why I would do this. In fact, one friend said he wouldn't burn a calorie over someone elses health problems, especially someone he hardly knew. He's nothing like me, but somehow we get along.
My family wonders what my motivation is, but it is difficult to explain. I can't put it into simple terms without sounding retarded. I feel really good about doing this. I see him at work every day, and I know he works too hard and then goes home and goes on dialysis for eight hours and I just can't imagine it.
Let me digress. Remember Terry Schaivo? WHO DOESN'T!!? Anyway, that whole thing made me furious and I drew up a legal living will and doctor's directive, copied all the family on it, and made my husband swear he would not contest it. I could not imagine being kept alive on a machine, a shit and piss factory for someone to be in charge of, and have my family think I wanted to stay alive! They are all clear on my thoughts now.
Back to Troy, he is a busy father and a hard worker, and I can't imagine how he finds the time for anything now that he is on dialysis every night. Of course, since the big mess with the former transplant team - wherein they did not put him on the kidney wait list for a cadaveric kidney since he had a donor, and since they did not put him on dialysis while they awaited the surgery - his blood was "dirty" and he had to go on dialysis every day until he can have a transplant.
I couldn't do it. I have so much to do in my life, and I want my freedom to do it. I think I would become depressed and just say 'hell with it'. But he does it and he shows up to work each day and smiles and works hard. He's what my mother would call a "trouper". That's just a person who takes what is dished out and plods on. She says that I'm one, but obviously what is being dished out to me is nothing like what others are getting.
So, I know that I can donate the kidney for several reasons. I would like to help this person have a better quality of life. I am not afraid of surgery, as I have had several over the years. I know the time involved in recovery for the same reason. I have a strong support system, in that my husband, kids, and friends may not understand but will support my decision. I know that a tiny minority of people die from common surgery and it doesn't scare me. I know if I became a vegetable from it, my husband would do the right thing, and I have a legal document to make him in case he waivered.
It's just the right thing to do for the right reasons. I want to feel good about myself, and I have always been extremely generous. I am doing this for me.
Enough for now. Think about if you could do it, and if so, why you would.