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2005-08-07 - 2:13 p.m.

I'm going to add entries a little at a time to get caught up. I would have begun at the beginning, but I never heard of this website until I was looking for people who had been living donors and found 'kidneygurl' on this site. A very interesting writer and a great story about her and her husband; you should read it.

A little about me: If you read the profile, you saw that I am 46 years old, a mother, a grandmother, and a stepmother. I'm like the motherlode. The mother of all mothers. A mother to end all mothers. Whatever.

I love my kids and my grandkids and my stepkids. I just don't feel that sense of 'What would they do without me?' that we feel when they are young and think the sun rises and sets because of us. Now it's more like they think the sun is covered by clouds because of me, or the sun set too early on a picnic because of me, or the sun rises too soon when they were out too late the night before because of me. In other words, they don't mind blaming me but rarely thank me or appreciate me.

Not that I'm on a pity pot - far from it! I just feel like my 'duties' (so to speak) are finished and now is just left my kindnesses or usefulness when one of them needs something. It's just evolution.

My oldest son is an artist, a very good one, and is the art director for a weekly newspaper (see, told you he was a good one). He is self-sufficient and has an apartment, car, girlfriend, etc. that he manages on his own. Well, I don't know about the girlfriend; perhaps 'manage' is a bit sexist. But he lives entirely free of the umbilical cord and I'm proud of him.

Child number two, also male, is fully grown and has a great job as a network specialist. He works for me and lives with me, and he has a son who lives with me half the week, and he is perfectly happy with this arrangement. I have never understood why he doesn't mind living at home, except that we are cool parents and we all get along fine, and he can save some expenses. He is a fantastic guitar player and has a new girlfriend that he's crazy about. His son is eight years old, my grandson. Great kid at all times.

Child number three. Hmmm. She is the wild one. She has a great job (her fourth in two years), a beautiful daughter, an insane ex, a mellow current, and she is always on the borderline of crazy partying or settling down. She is very pretty, over six feet tall with curly blonde hair. She is very slender and turns heads everywhere she goes. She is loud and funny like me. We have a lot of fun being crazy. She also lives with us, as does her daughter, as does her current (man).

I myself am 5'10" and about 20 pounds overweight, which I could lose if I just stopped being lazy. I have always had success with weight loss, but never quite went to the goal weight for some reason. Probably the fear of the let-down when I get there and realize, "Big whoop".

My husband is funny and friendly, works hard, has a big beer belly, and is extremely talented as a mechanic and engineer. He has two jobs and still works on all of our cars. He's really smart and the best thing is, he doesn't act like it. He's the most easy-going person you would ever meet.

I have two bulldogs. I know. Crazy. But one of them showed up at our house five years ago and wouldn't leave, so we bought him a mate. He can't figure out how to do it, so we're going to get her spayed and just let them hang out as pals.

That's me. In a nutshell. And I do mean NUTS HELL.

BYE for this stream.

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